Girlhood
When I started college
I didn’t know what to expect. What I did know was that I was moving to a new state, all alone. I thought college was going to be best friends and parties. And that was partly true. I made friends, but parties aren’t as fun as they look in the movies. Truthfully, I had more fun staying in the dining hall laughing until they kicked us out than I ever did at a party. I made friends freshman year, and it got me through the isolation I was fearing would come. But after freshman year ended, a lot of those friendships fizzled out. What was so wrong with me that all these friendships ended.
It wasn’t until the end of sophomore year that I made more than fair weather friends. And it wasn’t the plethora I pictured it would be. When I’m sitting in my apartment alone nearly every night, I’m wondering “isn’t this supposed to be the best years of my life, aren’t I supposed to be out in the town until 2 am with everyone I know?” And for some people that rings to be true.
I go to my best friends house many times in a week, and we sit on the floor of her bedroom talking about nothing and everything. We refer to this as “rotting away”. Always asking should we be doing something, should we go out? But here we are binge watching The Bachelor at 10 pm, scrolling through snapchats of parties goers, extroverts, fun.
January 2023, my best friend and I decide to go to the movies. The fancy theater attached to one of two malls in town. The safer mall of course. ‘ Anyone But You’ is all anyone can talk about. And frankly, who are we to turn away from getting our silly little rom com fix. Sitting in an almost empty theater with only two other people joining our late night extravaganza, pulling Circle K snacks out of our bags, here we sat watching this movie. The theater is filled with our laughter, echoing against all the empty chairs. We’re kicking our feet at the cheesiness of this “cinematic masterpiece”. My cheeks hurt from every ounce of grinning. Suddenly, in between the heat of Glen Powell singing Unwritten, and the crusty chair I’m sitting in starting to get uncomfortable, I realize, this is girlhood. I can’t create a better moment than this. Followed by driving to target after this movie ends, blasting Unwritten in my car with my best friend. Just the two of us. One chilly night, alone together, truly, releasing our inhibitions feeling the rain on our skin.
Briley Summerlin July 19, 2024
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